Seriously, why?!?!?

I didn't get mad today when Jayden dumped a bottle of Zyrtec in my jewelry cleaner while I was putting clothes in the dryer. I explained that was not a good idea, and cleaned up the mess.

I didn't get mad when Jayden made an "underwater volcano" with an empty beer bottle, tube of neosporin, and my cuticle tool (while I was making lunch). I praised his creativity because he was so excited, and explained that we should find a better way to make an underwater volcano in the future, and again cleaned up the mess.

However, about an hour ago, while I was holding Aubrey and explaining to her that there is a better way to express frustration than scream her ear-piercing banshee scream, Jayden did something which caused me to completely lose my s***. It might seem like nothing to many of you, and that's okay, but to those of you who know me it might make a little more sense.

After my discussion with Aubrey, I noticed Jayden had been absent for too long and was exceptionally quiet. Neither of which are ever good signs. I called for him - nothing. So I went on the hunt. He was in my room, on my bed, playing with the iPad. Innocent enough until I got closer, saw my perfume on the bed in front of him and I took a breath. The boy had sprayed perfume all over my bed and pillow. I was livid. My sinuses closed up immediately. I started wheezing. I started sneezing. Those who know me know that when I get started, I can sneeze for hours straight. I don't just sneeze once. No, I have this ridiculous allergy curse where I can sneeze for two hours straight or until the allergy medicine kicks in and I pass out. Anyway, as I said, this time I was upset. Then I walked into his room and noticed the kid had also painted with cortisone cream all over the floor and dresser. First, where is he even finding this s***??? Second, why? Why in the world are you doing such ridiculously stupid s***??? I yelled. I put him in time out. I sneezed. I yelled some more. Sneezed some more. And finally when he just laughed at me I went and pulled out the big guns. I got dad. Ha! Not so funny now, is it?!?

After consuming far more than the recommended dosage of allergy medicine to clear the airways again, and some much-needed daddy intervention, Jayden came down to me gave me a big hug and told me he was so sorry he sprayed my perfume all over my bed. Ah, the endearing moments with our children who love us even when we act just a little bit psycho :)