War on Christmas?

The so-called "War on Christmas" is potentially one of the dumbest things I've ever heard of. I do not understand why everyone is getting so offended. Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays, it's the same thing. It's someone wishing you goodness during this season. Happy holidays is all encompassing. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years, and any other holidays that fall in that time frame. Merry Christmas is just that, wishing you happiness for one day, a day you may or may not celebrate. Do you really believe the Christ you are celebrating would be offended or upset by something so ridiculously trivial??? 

It seems to me that your Christ, through his teachings, would be more concerned with the hyper-materialism and commercialization of said holiday, or the starving, and freezing, children in this country. He would be more concerned about what people DID than what people said. After all, it's the intent behind the words. Christ taught people to be kind, loving, charitable, giving, and accepting. So sad to see so many people this easily distracted by a fictitious war on Christmas causing them to forget all about the teachings of a man they are supposedly celebrating. 

BJ wisely talked me out of making that my Facebook status, but I needed to get it out of my system so it went up on the blog. 

Neil Armstrong Academy

As a parent there are times when I feel like I'm doing a terrible job. I feel like I need to teach my children more, give them more, do more for them, be more for them... you get the idea. Tonight, I feel like I did something so incredibly important for them, it's almost as though it's my crowning moment as a mom. I submitted applications for both of my children to the only STEM school currently in Utah, Neil Armstrong Academy. For those of you who don't know what that means, STEM stands for Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math. It is a school whose focus is on those areas of education. They still teach the traditional curriculum, but they have a more hands-on approach with a heavy focus on STEM areas.

I won't know until March whether I have been successful in their application, however, I feel good knowing I've done all I can do in that regard. I am praying that they will be accepted. They are such intelligent kids. Jayden loves engineering. His favorite apps on his iPad are fundamentally engineering apps dressed up as games. He has a sharp, technical mind and I have felt strongly for a while now that traditional schools will bore him. I want the kids to go to the same school, and while Aubrey is more artistic than Jayden, I know she will benefit from that school as well.

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend. I had a fabulous time with my family. I am so grateful for them, and love them so very much. I know I am lucky to have such a close, loving relationship with my parents (all 3 of them) and my siblings. I'll be back soon to tell you all about it.

Jayden has to go to the dentist in the morning. The poor kid inherited my terrible teeth and needs a lot of work done. My uncle told me that my cousin (who is about 12-years younger than me) had a similar problem at Jayden's age. Aubrey's teeth look perfect, Jayden's look terrible. It makes me so sad. Anyway, I'll update more about his first big trip to the dentist soon as well.

When I grow up

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. If I could do anything I wanted, and get paid to do it, what would it be? If I could get paid to do something I love, it would be to read books. I'm not sure how to go about that, but it's a pretty awesome dream nonetheless. I love to write, my brain used to come up with elaborate stories all the time, as I would go about my daily life, my mind would be a million miles away in a completely different world, with different conversations happening, new people and adventures.... For years, I was probably more present in a dream world than in reality. After a while I suppose I got bogged down with real life and somehow my creative juices were stifled. I suppose that's why I love to read so much. I am swept away in a far off land, I get to immerse myself in a whole new reality and for a few short hours, I'm actually there. I'm actually at Hogwarts, I'm really in Bon Temps, I get to travel to Middle Earth! I mean, it's pretty amazing to be a Hobbit! When I close my eyes, I'm there. I have escaped the mundane reality in which I live, and I've transported to another time, another place. 

My husband doesn't read fiction, preferring to read technical manuals and scientific journals instead. He will read everything he can get his hands on, in the non-fiction genre, while I struggle with the non-fiction. I own a lot of non-fiction, metaphysical books. I love them, but it takes me 5 times longer to read a non-fiction book than it does for me to read a fictional tale. Non-fiction can put me to sleep in a few short minutes, but if you give me a good story, like the Stephanie Plum series, I can read 3 books a day! Last night, around midnight, I received an email from Amazon telling me that the latest book in the Stephanie Plum series had been auto-delivered to my Kindle. So, shortly after midnight, I started reading and stayed up until 4:30 this morning to finish it! I couldn't sleep, I couldn't put it down, I had to leave the room so my laughter wouldn't wake BJ up.

So, if I had to give an answer to my dream job, it would be a reader... or a writer. If only I could get those creative juices flowing once more :) 

So... I caved.

In the battle of the playroom, I have a confession to make. Today, while my mother-in-law had my kids, I caved. I cleaned the room. Not all of it, but I got more done in 45 minutes of uninterrupted cleaning than my kids have gotten done in a month! I know, this goes against everything I've stated, but I was doing some organizing and one thing led to another... 

I got a lot done today all over while the kids were away. I built a little rolling drawer cart for the kids crafts and coloring items. It's in the kitchen, next to the dining table where they will be required to do most of their coloring. I'm kind of sick of them "accidentally" coloring on my walls. 

As soon as my in-laws brought my kids home, Aubrey sat down at the table and started coloring again, and Jayden pulled out their "rocket" which is really just a couple of cardboard boxes I gave them along with access to my sharpie collection and a bunch of glitter glue. The kids have been working on the "rocket" or "house" depending on the story they are telling at the time, for a couple of weeks now. Every day they seem to need to add more marker or glue to make it just right. 

It's only been a few hours, but so far the kitchen craft corner is a success. I can work on dinner and they can bounce easily between helping me, and coloring. 

Tonight, I made turkey noodle soup. I had no recipe for it, I just winged it. I know it was a success though because BJ had 3 bowls. While I prepped and cooked, which took me hours because I'm slow in the kitchen, the kids sat at the table and played with playdough or colored. 

Slowly it seems things are returning to normal around here. There is balance and peace more often than not. As a result, you can see the changes starting to make their way through the rest of the house. Progress may be slow, but it's progress nonetheless.  

The ostrich theory of life management

Confession time. For a long time I've suffered from the ostrich theory of life management. When something stressful comes up, I stick my head in the sand and pretend it doesn't exist, hoping that over time it will just go away. Obviously, that never happens and the problem only gets worse. 

A few months ago, I made a determined effort to stop the cycle of the ostrich. I started facing unpleasant things, instead of escaping into the distraction of the moment. Thing is, I've been loving the way of the ostrich for a really long time and I've allowed a lot of things to get completely out of control. As a result, this whole "facing the problem" thing has been kind of ugly. 

Without going into the dirty details, I'm facing a doozy right now. One that I've avoided for a couple of years. Yes, that's right.. Years. I made the necessary calls, took the first step to facing the problem for real this time, and if I'm honest with you, I'm shaking. All over. Shaking, anxious, generally a hot mess. There is a part of my mind, the one I really don't enjoy but tends to play a large part of my internal dialogue, telling me that I am not strong enough to face this. That it is out of my league, and I can't do it. I even believe that part of my mind. Doesn't really matter though because I don't have a choice. I have to face it. I cannot let the damage get any worse than it already is. I called a professional, I have faith that he will know what to do. 

When I faced my finances, actually created a budget and paid attention to every penny we spent it was terrifying at first. I was just as anxious as I am now. I had been ostriching the family finances and when I decided to face my life instead of hide from it, I took control. While it may have been absolutely terrifying and stressful in the beginning, there was also a sense of relief from just knowing where things stood. I still experience the stress that comes with money, especially when you don't have enough. It was my own fault though. I had to face that too. My poor money management and over spending put us in this mess and I was going to have to learn what to do to get us out of it. 

I have been using the ostrich theory of life management when it comes to my house too. Cleaning, organizing, and decluttering is overwhelming and stressful so for a long time I didn't face it like I needed to. Now, slowly, I'm facing it. One step at a time. 

Are you sensing a pattern? Most of my life, I have hidden from things that make me uncomfortable. If I allow myself, I still do. Does that make me weak? Probably. But it is what it is. Now I have to change it. I've been changing it with my kids, my marriage, my life! Not an easy path, but a necessary one. 

Updates for October

I've been struggling with balance in my life for a long time. It has been said, more than once, that I am fire and ice. I wont deny those tendencies, but I have been working on finding balance in all things so that I may enjoy life more. Lately, it has been working wonderfully. My marriage is stronger, and happier, than ever. We are having so much fun with the kids, we are making steps to declutter the house, etc. Overall, the house is just a happier home than it has been in years.

I feel like I'm falling into my role as homemaker, stay-at-home mom, whatever you want to call it, with happiness and peace now. I am happy to be home with the kids. I am happy to cook dinner for the family, and I love it when I create some random concoction in the kitchen and it turns out delicious. The kids have been helping me cook, helping me clean, but playing and enjoying life as well. I play my games (marrying a gamer can rub off on you!), the kids watch their shows, play their games, and even work on the many craft projects I pulled out for them. I knew that stash of wood crafts and sun catchers would pay off eventually!

I used to miss my village, even mourn its loss. Now, however, I am comfortable without it. We seem to have fun as a family, whether the extended crowd is with us or not! The night before Halloween we carved pumpkins as a family. It was so much fun. We worked together to clear off our cluttered dining table, making it clean and functional again. After we finished that, we laid down some of the thick paper you can use as a drop cloth, the kind you can buy in a giant roll at Lowe's. We taped it down to the table and the fun began. BJ helped Aubrey with her pumpkin, he drew a face on the paper so she could decide just how she wanted the pumpkin to look and together they carved it. I helped Jayden with his. He told me which shapes he wanted for which parts and then held the knife with me as we created his pumpkin. Then it was the parents turn! The pumpkins turned out great!

Another fun family event we did this month was our annual trip to Gardner Village to see the witches. Mike, Jenessa, Chris, & Cassy came along to see the witches, and the kids reactions to them. Grandma Cassy paid for the kids to go on a pony ride, and they loved it. Aubrey got to ride on Silver, and Jayden on Snowflake. The woman who led the horse around for Jayden just got a kick out of his stories. She told me I should take him to a storytelling festival they have nearby because he would do great. He does tell a good story, and he is so animated about it. I need to be better about taking videos of his stories so I can share them with everyone.

Anyway, this is just a quick update. When I get all the pictures from Halloween night, I'll be back to tell another story :) For now, I'll leave you with some highlights of our month.

They are so cute when they are sleeping!

Aubrey with her dolly and her iPad. She insists on sleeping with that decorative "square" pillow. 

Jayden's pumpkin

Aubrey's pumpkin

BJ's pumpkin

My pumpkin

Looking spooky!

Kale for dinner

Aubrey helped me wash and dry it

She is a great kitchen assistant

Now it's time to color robots

And glitter glue on pumpkins! 

Jayden thought that was a lot of fun.

Goofy boy

Pained smile

Glitter glue and my sharpie collection has created days worth of entertainment around here

Off to see the witches

Aunt Nessa and Uncle Mike with the littles! I love how Mike had to hold Jayden's head.

Daddy & Aubrey

The whole family

Waiting in line for the pony ride

She wouldn't let go of that ticket

Big cheese loves pictures of herself

Aubrey has been doing Yoga with Aunt Nessa, she absolutely loves it. As soon as Jenessa came over that day, Aubrey rolled out the mat and begged to do Yoga with her!

Jenessa helped me organize my closet, while Mike and I organized the crawl space. I'll post more pictures of that later. It's been quite the project, but it needed to be done, desperately!

My mom brought me a bunch of apples from her tree, so I decided to dehydrate them. It was one of my favorite treats when I was growing up, and I wanted to share that with the kids.

I may not be "that kind of mom" but I've been having fun pretending lately! My kids are happy and healthy, and in the end, that's what really matters!! The more I work on balance, the happier everyone seems to be. 

Look what fun we are having

Today I was "that kind of mom" for a little while. First, I bought mini pumpkins. 

Then, I decided to have craft day and let Aubrey paint them with glitter glue. 

After the pumpkin, while the glitter glue dried, we switched to a princess puzzle. She was very excited about it. 

While we colored pumpkins and puzzles, Jayden decided to play World of Warcraft with his dad on my laptop. 

Since the boys were still busy, and we still had to wait for the pumpkin to dry so we could continue coloring it, I decided to make cupcakes or muffins, depends on how they turn out!! 

Of course, I needed my kitchen assistant to help me with the most important part. 

I may not be a very good baker, but I do know how to clean the spoon properly :) Just like my Grandma taught me!! 

All in all, it has been a wonderful Sunday afternoon :)

Adventure is out there

Here are some fun facts about me. The last time I was on an airplane was about 1999, and I've never been east of Colorado. Perhaps I've been very sheltered in my life, but I like the western United States. I mean, I live in Utah and for the most part I love it here. It's beautiful, my family is here, my home is here, what more could a girl want? I've been to my nearby states, Colorado, California, Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico, Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, even Wyoming. But I've never ventured east. Until now. In a few days I will not only be flying for the first time in 14 years, but I'll be flying across the country to Delaware for my best friends wedding. Yes, I know, this is not a big deal to most of you. This is huge for me though. I've been on an airplane 3 times total. First (and second) was a round trip flight to San Diego. Last was a one-way to Portland. All of which were simple non-stop flights. All of which occurred 14 years ago. I'm just a simple girl, a simple girl with a simple mind.. Okay, perhaps that's stretching it a bit, but I grew up in a smallish town and smallish towns are where I'm most comfortable. The whole bright lights, big city idea is a little on the terrifying side for me. 

Here are some more fun facts about me. I am what you could call, people claustrophobic. Lots of people, confined spaces... Kind of makes me panic to just think about it... I don't like to be touched by people I don't know and I have a pretty large comfort bubble that I don't like being invaded, even my kids can make me feel claustrophobic when they get up in my face with theirs for too long. I know, I know, I sound like a total nutcase. That's probably not far off the mark ;) 

Another first for me, I've never been away from my kids for this long. In fact, I haven't been by myself for this many days in a row since I met BJ. The longest my kids have gone without me is about 2 days. After day one Aubrey starts getting twitchy because she misses mom. Thank goodness for FaceTime. 

Anyway, that's all for now.  This nutcase is off to read the TSA traveling guidelines so I know what I can pack on my grand adventure. 

Love this...

Just came across another saying that sure hit close to home. In my heart, I'm pretty sure this hits the mark. Something to think about, anyway. 

How important is this lesson...

There are times when I have to stop and ask myself "how important is this lesson for the kids?" I have refused to clean my playroom for a while. An embarrassingly long time, but I think I have a good reason for it. See, my kids destroyed that room and I think they should have to clean it themselves. Not long ago I wrote a blog post about making my kids clean their own room. What would have taken me an hour, tops, took them about three hours to complete. It's true, I could have cleaned it for them, but what would they have learned by my doing so? That they can make ridiculous messes and I'll be there to clean it up for them. I don't want them to learn that. I don't want to helicopter parent either. They are 3 and 4-years-old. They are going to make messes. However, in my mind, they are less likely to do so when they know that a) they have to live in the mess they make, and b) they have to clean the mess they make.

When they did this... I CLEANED IT!!!

When they did it AGAIN.... I CLEANED IT

When they did this, I cleaned it... (This is behind my couch in the front room)

Ahh, much better... but they didn't learn a thing! How do I know? Because of this:

I had their playroom beautiful and organized... There are LABELS!!! 

And in a mere 30 minutes while I was downstairs making dinner... it went from THIS....

TO THIS!!!!!

DO YOU SEE THIS!!!

SERIOUSLY!

So... I was livid. They literally took EVERYTHING off the beautifully organized and labeled shelves and did that. Every single toy they own, which I admit is a ridiculous quantity, was taken OFF the shelves and thrown into a giant pile in the middle of the floor. I worked so hard in there, painstakingly organizing, labeling, I even built and installed the shelves... I worked my butt off in that stupid room and all of it was undone in a mere 30 minutes. My husband is going to kill me (metaphorically speaking) for admitting this publicly, but I have refused to clean the room ever since that day. Well, I've tried a few times but I don't make it very long before I get mad again so I have to walk away until I can get in the right place mentally. So far, I haven't found the right place and finally I asked myself why that might be. The answer is simple, it feels like an injustice for ME to be the one to clean that room. Yes, I know, that's just part of being a mom, but isn't teaching your children to clean up after themselves also part of being a mom?

I've had friends over who ask "why don't you just bag everything up and get rid of it?" That's a good question. Honestly, it's because I am convinced this is an important lesson for them to learn. I don't let them play anywhere else for the most part, I don't let them use the tv in the entertainment room to escape their mess. It is their mess and, by golly, they have to live in it or clean it up. I'm nothing if not stubborn. I just have to be patient with them. We have been making progress, very slow progress, but progress nonetheless. The problem here is that I'm working with children who are 3 & 4, which is to say, little people with tiny attention spans. I've tried a few different tactics. I was feeling especially hopeful after the success we had in their bedroom, but the playroom has been challenging for them as well. I tried setting a timer, telling them they got to play for the same length of time as they cleaned. It seemed like a fair deal to me, but to a 4-year-old 20 minutes is apparently an eternity. We didn't get very far. I tried enticement "when you get this room all cleaned, I will buy you the video game you want." Unfortunately, that wasn't enough motivation either. I may not have found the appropriate level of motivation, but I have a quality that is far more important. Determination. It might not make sense to you, that's okay, but I am stubborn and determined enough to teach them this lesson.

Every time they have to throw a toy away because they haven't taken good enough care of it, it's a lesson to them. Every time they ask for a friend to come over and I say no because the playroom is too messy for their friends to play in, it's a lesson for them. Every time they complain about having to clean up the mess, I simply ask "who made this mess?" When they reply "we did" I make sure it's a reminder of the consequences of making such a mess. Like I said, I could have had the room clean by now. I could do it all myself, but what would they learn if I did? A big, whopping NOTHING and I just can't have that.

How important is this lesson? If you ask me, it's very important.