The ostrich theory of life management

Confession time. For a long time I've suffered from the ostrich theory of life management. When something stressful comes up, I stick my head in the sand and pretend it doesn't exist, hoping that over time it will just go away. Obviously, that never happens and the problem only gets worse. 

A few months ago, I made a determined effort to stop the cycle of the ostrich. I started facing unpleasant things, instead of escaping into the distraction of the moment. Thing is, I've been loving the way of the ostrich for a really long time and I've allowed a lot of things to get completely out of control. As a result, this whole "facing the problem" thing has been kind of ugly. 

Without going into the dirty details, I'm facing a doozy right now. One that I've avoided for a couple of years. Yes, that's right.. Years. I made the necessary calls, took the first step to facing the problem for real this time, and if I'm honest with you, I'm shaking. All over. Shaking, anxious, generally a hot mess. There is a part of my mind, the one I really don't enjoy but tends to play a large part of my internal dialogue, telling me that I am not strong enough to face this. That it is out of my league, and I can't do it. I even believe that part of my mind. Doesn't really matter though because I don't have a choice. I have to face it. I cannot let the damage get any worse than it already is. I called a professional, I have faith that he will know what to do. 

When I faced my finances, actually created a budget and paid attention to every penny we spent it was terrifying at first. I was just as anxious as I am now. I had been ostriching the family finances and when I decided to face my life instead of hide from it, I took control. While it may have been absolutely terrifying and stressful in the beginning, there was also a sense of relief from just knowing where things stood. I still experience the stress that comes with money, especially when you don't have enough. It was my own fault though. I had to face that too. My poor money management and over spending put us in this mess and I was going to have to learn what to do to get us out of it. 

I have been using the ostrich theory of life management when it comes to my house too. Cleaning, organizing, and decluttering is overwhelming and stressful so for a long time I didn't face it like I needed to. Now, slowly, I'm facing it. One step at a time. 

Are you sensing a pattern? Most of my life, I have hidden from things that make me uncomfortable. If I allow myself, I still do. Does that make me weak? Probably. But it is what it is. Now I have to change it. I've been changing it with my kids, my marriage, my life! Not an easy path, but a necessary one.