Before you have kids, you are capable of spontaneity. You are able to come and go with ease and little planning. You are easily mobile and have the ability to go visit anyone, do anything, at any time for the most part. After you have kids, that changes. Instead of being spontaneous, you have to plan ahead. Suddenly it takes you twice as long just to get out of the house! When you have kids, activities should be planned with them in mind, not as an afterthought; at least if you want us to come and participate.
This leads me to a difficult situation with one side of my family. I feel like they plan all of their activities with adults in mind and kids as an afterthought. We are the only couple with small kids. I am not self-centered enough to think that everything should revolve around us and our children; however, I do think that it would be nice to plan some family events with kids in mind and adult entertainment as an afterthought if that makes sense. For nearly 4 years now it has felt a little like kids are an afterthought for activities with the family, getting especially worse as of late. It makes me a little sad, and mostly, it makes me reluctant to hang out with them and participate at all. I would rather play with the people in our life who are part of our village, as I like to call it.
Yes, tonight I was mad. I was mad that I was excited to see everyone. I was mad that I put forth the time and effort to come over, only to hear that your plans reverted back to the original adult oriented plans and you didn't bother to let us know. I was mad that I wasted my time on you guys instead of taking the kids to do something fun with our little family, or with my brother and his wife. I was mad because that's easier than allowing myself to feel hurt. I was fighting back tears the whole drive home. That's usually why I get mad. It's easier to be angry than sad. So to be honest, I'm mad and I'm done. Go on, have your traditions, do your thing. Just realize we will do the same. We will make our traditions with our kids as the priority and the adults as the afterthought. You can participate with us if you choose, but I'm done with the adult activities you plan. Just assume my answer will be no. /end rant.
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