So... I caved.

In the battle of the playroom, I have a confession to make. Today, while my mother-in-law had my kids, I caved. I cleaned the room. Not all of it, but I got more done in 45 minutes of uninterrupted cleaning than my kids have gotten done in a month! I know, this goes against everything I've stated, but I was doing some organizing and one thing led to another... 

I got a lot done today all over while the kids were away. I built a little rolling drawer cart for the kids crafts and coloring items. It's in the kitchen, next to the dining table where they will be required to do most of their coloring. I'm kind of sick of them "accidentally" coloring on my walls. 

As soon as my in-laws brought my kids home, Aubrey sat down at the table and started coloring again, and Jayden pulled out their "rocket" which is really just a couple of cardboard boxes I gave them along with access to my sharpie collection and a bunch of glitter glue. The kids have been working on the "rocket" or "house" depending on the story they are telling at the time, for a couple of weeks now. Every day they seem to need to add more marker or glue to make it just right. 

It's only been a few hours, but so far the kitchen craft corner is a success. I can work on dinner and they can bounce easily between helping me, and coloring. 

Tonight, I made turkey noodle soup. I had no recipe for it, I just winged it. I know it was a success though because BJ had 3 bowls. While I prepped and cooked, which took me hours because I'm slow in the kitchen, the kids sat at the table and played with playdough or colored. 

Slowly it seems things are returning to normal around here. There is balance and peace more often than not. As a result, you can see the changes starting to make their way through the rest of the house. Progress may be slow, but it's progress nonetheless.  

The ostrich theory of life management

Confession time. For a long time I've suffered from the ostrich theory of life management. When something stressful comes up, I stick my head in the sand and pretend it doesn't exist, hoping that over time it will just go away. Obviously, that never happens and the problem only gets worse. 

A few months ago, I made a determined effort to stop the cycle of the ostrich. I started facing unpleasant things, instead of escaping into the distraction of the moment. Thing is, I've been loving the way of the ostrich for a really long time and I've allowed a lot of things to get completely out of control. As a result, this whole "facing the problem" thing has been kind of ugly. 

Without going into the dirty details, I'm facing a doozy right now. One that I've avoided for a couple of years. Yes, that's right.. Years. I made the necessary calls, took the first step to facing the problem for real this time, and if I'm honest with you, I'm shaking. All over. Shaking, anxious, generally a hot mess. There is a part of my mind, the one I really don't enjoy but tends to play a large part of my internal dialogue, telling me that I am not strong enough to face this. That it is out of my league, and I can't do it. I even believe that part of my mind. Doesn't really matter though because I don't have a choice. I have to face it. I cannot let the damage get any worse than it already is. I called a professional, I have faith that he will know what to do. 

When I faced my finances, actually created a budget and paid attention to every penny we spent it was terrifying at first. I was just as anxious as I am now. I had been ostriching the family finances and when I decided to face my life instead of hide from it, I took control. While it may have been absolutely terrifying and stressful in the beginning, there was also a sense of relief from just knowing where things stood. I still experience the stress that comes with money, especially when you don't have enough. It was my own fault though. I had to face that too. My poor money management and over spending put us in this mess and I was going to have to learn what to do to get us out of it. 

I have been using the ostrich theory of life management when it comes to my house too. Cleaning, organizing, and decluttering is overwhelming and stressful so for a long time I didn't face it like I needed to. Now, slowly, I'm facing it. One step at a time. 

Are you sensing a pattern? Most of my life, I have hidden from things that make me uncomfortable. If I allow myself, I still do. Does that make me weak? Probably. But it is what it is. Now I have to change it. I've been changing it with my kids, my marriage, my life! Not an easy path, but a necessary one. 

Look what fun we are having

Today I was "that kind of mom" for a little while. First, I bought mini pumpkins. 

Then, I decided to have craft day and let Aubrey paint them with glitter glue. 

After the pumpkin, while the glitter glue dried, we switched to a princess puzzle. She was very excited about it. 

While we colored pumpkins and puzzles, Jayden decided to play World of Warcraft with his dad on my laptop. 

Since the boys were still busy, and we still had to wait for the pumpkin to dry so we could continue coloring it, I decided to make cupcakes or muffins, depends on how they turn out!! 

Of course, I needed my kitchen assistant to help me with the most important part. 

I may not be a very good baker, but I do know how to clean the spoon properly :) Just like my Grandma taught me!! 

All in all, it has been a wonderful Sunday afternoon :)